Holiday gatherings don't have to be stressful!

Holiday gatherings and Stress

Family gatherings can be stressful and I mean to the max! Why is that? We should be looking forward to time with our friends and loved ones to slow down, catch up and be in the moment but sometimes it doesn’t quite happen that way. When I think of family gatherings as a young child the number of plates at the table was low. We had small intimate gatherings with a handful of my mom’s friends that included low maintenance food preparation and lots of laughter. Times were different and not so stressful. It’s not like that anymore. Things are complicated. Families are complicated. Family tradition has been lost. People don’t sit down and eat at the table together anymore! So here's some ideas that will hopefully make your holiday gatherings more enjoyable.

Tips to help!

Be open-minded!! Cultural norms and traditions look different to different people. With multi-cultural families growing, things may look different than what you're used to. What you do may not be what someone else does and vice versa but that's okay! Go with the flow and be open to new dishes, flavors, customs, music and conversation. Relax and be in the moment.

Leave your expectations at the door!! Many times we go into a situation with an already developed expectation of how things are going to play out. Just stop! This goes back to being open-minded. If you go go into an event with the perception that the night is going to be negative and horrible guess what? It will be! So smile and be positive. You may have the time of your life!

If you're hosting-Enlist help! One of the most tiring aspects of get togethers is the preparation. You don't have to do it all yourself!! You can ask others to assist you with the expense, preparation and clean-up but they won't know you need help unless you ask! Plan ahead and delegate. You may even consider investing in a service to help with cleaning your home before and after the big day.

Prepare for the kids! When in public, one of the most annoying and frustrating things is to hear a child whine or cry because a parent didn't plan ahead to keep them content and occupied. Whether you're attending or hosting, make sure you plan for the little people. When my kids were small, I used to carry a playpen and walker in my trunk so I could contain and control where they were at all times so I didn't have to carry them around for the night. Have kid-friendly snacks ready to go as well as plastic flatware to minimize the possibility of breakage. With the slew of electronics available, having entertainment is a no brainer! If you're hosting, carve out space that can be kid-friendly. You could even pay a neighborhood teen to be the designated sitter for a couple of hours. Mom and dad throw the jammies in the bag to change the little ones before heading home so when they fall asleep in the car it's an easy transition to bed.

Be in the moment! Probably the most important thing to remember is to be in the moment and enjoy your time with friends and family. Laugh and smile ALOT. Remember when a large group of different people get together it can get loud and messy. Be patient, be kind and breathe!

Holiday gatherings are stressful by nature but you can control the extent of that stress. Here's some additional tips and suggestions to keep your anxiety at bay. Enjoy your time together and make some memories to last a lifetime. Whatever stress or anxiety you may feel it's important to remember that those feelings are temporary and will pass. You could be anywhere in the world so enjoy the choice you made and eat an extra piece of chocolate pie for me!

I’m always available for a 30-minute complimentary consultation if you’d like to talk.

~~Wendy  

Call for Action!! Walk!!

 T. Morgan and Vanessa Garrison give a heart-felt presentation on Tedx Talks Walking as a Revolutionary Act of Self-Care that all women particularly women of color need to see, hear and implement. Follow them on Facebook and be part of the journey. Where's your Fire? Watch. Share. Repeat.[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xpuZBSclwE[/embed]

Self-Discovery Month!!

“Who in the world am I?Ah, that's the great puzzle.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

So May has been deemed "self-discovery month" which is phenomenal but as I always say..."why do important things just get considered for a day, week or month?" Self-discovery should happen every single day!! It's what keeps us on the straight and narrow. I often work with many of my clients in completing a Personal Mission Statement (PMS) which helps in developing a life direction...whatever that direction may be!! PMS help us to assess if the choices we're making are going to help us achieve our mission of if those choices deter us. It can be something as simple as a word, a phrase or a complete paragraph. It doesn't matter!! As long as you think it through in developing your statement that's all that really matters. A great place to start is completing an inventory of self.

There's lots of good stuff out here on the web to help you get started with your self-discovery. One of the books I've read and keep on hand to utilize with my clients is Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and there's an awesome workbook to accompany the read. There's also a teenage version with workbook as well that I've utilized within a group setting with noticeable results. If you don't like to read, I have some comprehensive exercises that will get you started under the resources tab.

Writing your PMS down makes it real!! If it's just clinking around in your head you're less apt to put it into practice. Talk with those around you that you trust most to get an outside perspective of yourself. Clarify and define who you are by examining your habits, attitudes and beliefs. Don't forget to look at your behaviors as well. We can say all day that we have a specific belief but if we're doing the complete opposite it nulls that belief completely!! So don't allow your life to float around in the wind like a leaf. Take action and write your Personal Mission Statement! I can help you get started! Contact me for your complimentary 30-minute consultation. You’re in control of your mental wellness journey!

Your beliefs become your thoughts! Your thoughts become your words! Your words become your actions! Your actions become your habits! Your habits become your values! Your values become your destiny!

~~Ghandi

Empower, Educate, Evolve

It's a way of thinking!!

Woman-Out-of-Balance

Finding balance in an unbalanced world takes thought and lots of it!! Maybe that's why so many of us are out of balance??!! As a matter of fact it's a mindset and a lifestyle change. It requires courage and grace. My quest for finding balance began about a year ago when I FINALLY began listening to my body. I was totally out of wack!! Irregular sleep patterns, constant stomach issues and skin afflictions popping up everywhere like crazy!! After so many years of not practicing self-care, feeding a major sugar addiction and allowing negative people into my world my body said enough is enough!! So now because of this, I'm working towards regaining my health, harmony and balance. It's tough believe me!! The chronic illnesses I've developed over the years include rheumatoid arthritis, IBD, eczema and shingles. I work hard to manage these on a daily basis. I'm not a believer of traditional Western medicine. I don't see a MD. I don't take prescription medication. I self-educate and utilize holistic and natural remedies. After all social work 101 is to approach everything as a system and our bodies are made up of many intricate systems put in place to keep us functioning but it requires balance. It's a journey I'll be on for the rest of my life but I'm excited and feel empowered!

If you've begun to feel out of balance and have developed chronic illness (this includes mental health), it may be time to start thinking out loud about your life. It's time to start looking at how you think. It's time to start educating yourself and asking questions. A great place to start is completing the Wheel of Life. Get started and get thinking!! If you feel out of balance and need to recalibrate your wellness, please contact me for your complimentary 30-minute consultation. Your in control of your mental wellness journey!!

Finding Balance

I’m three years post graduation and two and half years into my career as a full fledged licensed social worker. Man it’s been a journey from the start of grad school to the point where I am now. I continue to grow as a professional as a woman but most importantly my growth as a human being continues full force. I love what I do. I love empowering and educating other people so they can evolve into the best version of themselves.

I love watching on the sidelines with my invisible pom-poms cheering and screaming as someone has an epiphany that positively alters the course of their life and I literally see the personal evolution in action. It’s exhilarating. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Although I’m enjoying this journey, somewhere along the way I lost my balance. You know that pie chart where ideally each slice is basically the same size? Well my career slice has become much larger than my personal slice and that’s a problem!!

I’m not only a social worker but I have other hats to wear that are colorful and adventurous that have somehow been tossed aside like yesterday’s leftovers. I’m a poet. I’m a hot biker chick. I’m an artist. I’m a student.I’m a sister-friend. I’m a traveler. I’m a free spirit that is trapped. I’m in a conundrum of scheduling, paperwork and appointments that has taken over my pie of life like blue mold on cheese. Self-care is essential in the serving industries and I’ve been slacking!! So in an effort to regain my balance, I’ve started this blog to have a place to vent. A place to share my wins and my losses. A place to scream when I’m angry and a place to cry when I’m happy. A place where hopefully other social workers will find solace and companionship when they too are looking for their balance.  I hope you’ll join me in your own journey of finding personal balance!!

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